the grass is always greener...blah blah blah

*Caution* the following passage is a rant posted by tired and irritable mommy, probably I'm being more dramatic than I should be. All is well.

Some days I miss Utah SOOO much, and on the other days I miss Utah a lot! I miss the close knit neighborhood. I miss the fun activities we always did with the kids that cost very little or nothing at all. I miss my kids running outside to play with all their many friends. I miss that, for the most part Mikayla's friends didn't have a problem with Mariah tagging along or hangin around and visa versa. Here, Mariah is never included, much to my dismay! I miss that my kids could walk to Walgreens or the library, or gas station, taco time, and ANY of their friends houses. I ask myself every day "what have I done?" It rips me apart thinking about how I have upset their lives. I want to go home, but I've not yet seen or done anything here to even be able to say "it was worth it." My kids used to play together, not anymore. It breaks my heart when my kids say they are bored and when I tell them to go play, they ask "with who? all my friends are in Utah" I have suggested that they look for friends inside their own home, but they can't stop fighting long enough to look. They may never forgive me for what I have done, and I know they cannot understand the [weak] reason I had for doing it.

I pray that Dolan can get to the position he really wants with Costco. Maybe then, we could go home. He is so wishy washy on the subject, one day he wants to go home and the next he is never gonna leave here. Ya know, just before he got the job, I was completely content and happy with my life and felt like it couldn't get any better than it was. I was right. Maybe it took moving 2000 miles away from friends and family to realize just how good I had it. Don't get me wrong, I mean I have met wonderful people and feel like I [personally] have made many new friends. So for me it would be kind of hard to leave, but when I think of how happy my kids would be to go home it makes me want to get in the car and head West and never look back. My sister tried to warn me that "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" but I wouldn't listen. So, for now I will push on, and maybe when I can stop dumping 100's of dollars into gas for my van (to drive Mikayla's butt around) I can save up enough to get us home for a visit. Maybe we should go while it is snowing so that I will actually return to Georgia. So maybe June? hehe :)

a world of difference!

Ok so I THOUGHT I could post everyday, but here I am over a year later posting my next entry. NICE! Well here I sit in my "new" home, and guess what, no matter how far i move, my mess seems to follow. Seriously, this house is just as messy as my last one and it seems no matter how much I clean it does not stay that way. :/ Oh well, I guess it's true what they say "cleaning a home while the children are growing is like shoveling the walks while it's still snowing" or something like that anyway.

So just over a year ago, we left our home in the West to roam in the South. And one thing I can say is things sure are different here! Except for the church, it is the same, and for that I am so glad! We left an amazing ward, thinking that we could never get another one as good. But, we were wrong, this ward is AWESOME! For the most part, we love it here. Right now, in the middle of January I am looking out my huge window and warmth and sunshine and clean air. I don't miss the "bubble" of inversion that happens in the Salt lake valley during this time of year, that's for sure.

Here are a few differences...

-Where we live, it takes us 20 minutes to get to anywhere, which costs us tons of $$ in gas money. Back home I could make a trip to Smith's, get what I needed and get back home in 8 minutes FLAT.

-some things are called different names than what we know them as. For instance, a shopping cart is referred to a "a buggy" and instead of "calling in" sick at work they say "call out" those are just the two I can think of at the moment, but there are more. I will add them as I think of them.

Here, if my GPS says that my destination in 5 miles away, it will also say that it is 15 minutes away. The crazy part about that is that all the roads are 45-60 mph, so why does it take so long to go such a short distance? well that is because there are NO straight roads here, the meander, they have LOTs of hills and curves, oh and NO shoulder! So, what we have is a bunch of cars going pretty fast (50ish mph) on very narrow, 2 lane, very winding and hilly roads, it's nearly suicidal. I hate when I'm driving a familiar route and I see new crosses on the side of the road. The crosses mark the spot where someone has died. That is another thing we would NEVER see in Utah. It's kind of creepy and a little disturbing I say. There is one spot on the side of the freeway, that the "marker" of such a place is a bicycle, painted all silver, chained to the tree and with a wreath of flowers around the handle bars. it makes me sad to see these things, but then I have to wonder "what the crap were they thinking riding a bike down a freeway?" Oh YEAH! that's another thing, I see jaywalkers all over around here! I mean I GET crossing the street not at a light, but in the middle of a busy highway?? pleeeaaase people, think! these roads don't have shoulders, nor are there sidewalks on a lot of these roads, it's suicide to walk along them or cross them and yet they do it all the time!

Trees are everywhere! It is very beautiful but a little hard to get used to. The rare times when we are on a hill and we can see 1/2 mile over the treetops we all get a little excited. Also, if I get to see a little pasture land, it makes me homesick for the "openess" of Utah.

Also, it seems to me that the South really focuses on race, still, long after civil rights, I still see much separation by attitude. It's hard to describe or explain, but coming from a place where there were only 3 black people in my high school to a place that puts each school's demographics online, is so strange to me. But, thankfully, my children don't know racism, and thus have made friends with several black kids at school. this makes me happy, maybe it will take kids to finally drive out racism.

Thrift stores and antique stores ROCK!! I hated going to D.I. in Utah, but here, it is so fun to go to thrift stores, in fact everyone I have met goes to thrift stores. It seems to me that, in Utah, you only go to D.I. for halloween costume items. But here, people shop for clothes and anything else you can think of. I personally know people who live in million dollar homes that shop at Goodwill and other thrift stores. It seems everyone has their "favorite" one.

Mexican food here is NOT good, if fact the best "mexican" food you can get is a taco bell. (At least that we have found so far) This is VERY sad for me because it is my favorite type of food. Looks like I will be doing the cooking when it comes to mexican food. In fact, we have yet to find a restaurant that we are just "dying" to get back to. So, I cook a whole LOT more now.

Okay, those are the differences I can come up with for now, though I know there are a lot more but this post is long enough already. Maybe later!

Day 3 aaaahhh! it feels like we will never get there!

Ok, we are staying here, and things are great, only a few fights amongst the children and nobody has had to go to the ER! With 10 kids, under the age of 14, and most of those being boys, this is a huge deal! Also the house is still standing, and is, for the most part, clean! I found out yesterday that the bank accepted our offer on the house for 153k BUT, we have no contract yet and they are trying to get out of paying the full 3.5% toward closing costs.. They don't think we can close by the end of the year, but we have been sitting in underwriting for a few weeks now just waiting for Fannie Mae to accept our offer and get us a contract. So, although I fully expected to be leaving this Friday, it looks now like we would be better off to wait until next Thursday. I don't know if my brother will last that long ;-) Living here with Missy has made me totally want a nanny, or a maid, or some sort of help! Missy says now, that she understands the attraction of polygamy for some women, it's nice have a "team" of moms. Haha, that made me laugh, but I think the kids know that can get away with a LOT less than usual. So 4 eyes ARE better than 2!! I can't get my computer or my Ipod to connect to the internet here, so my posts may not be regular, but I will try. Tonight was book club in my home ward and I badly wanted to go but couldn't justify the drive and the gas to get there. I miss my ward, my neighbors, friends, and that wonderful knowledge of security. I feel so displaced, and I think my kids are ready to get there and get settled too. I cannot wait for our family to be together again!! Praying for things to happen quickly and smoothly.

Day 1 away from home...

Well technically, yesterday was our first day out of our home, but since I still had to go back to clean the garage, and I was there most of the day, then I will start with today as "day 1". We are staying with my brother and his family in Stansbury Park. And, after going out to Bluffdale to my in-law's for dinner, it feels like we are actually in a whole other state! The drive was over 45 minutes in the fog! And on our way there we almost got hit by a flying dog kennel that flew out of the truck in front of us.
I am new to "blogging" so sorry if it is a little boring at first. I think, though that after time you will notice my "charm" and "wit" ;-) Last night, I didn't sleep well at all! I kept having dreams of my kids destroying my brother's home and of them peeing the beds. Maybe I can get some rest tonight? But after today, I think the nightmares will be worse!! my kids managed to ruin 2 mattresses in one day with the help of their cousins. And bedtime is a JOKE! It seems as if they cannot just settle down. I feel sad for my kids, being away from their daddy, and now being "homeless" too, I pray every day that we can get our offer on the house in Georgia, accepted. I have a truck scheduled for this Friday, December 10th, however, if we do not have final papers by Wednesday, then I will have to wait another week! That will put us in possibly worse weather and closer to Christmas, too close for comfort! My mother and father in-law are driving us out to Georgia, but they need to be able to get tickets back, otherwise they may get stuck there with us, so we really need to get going by Friday.